“I forgive you” ~What A Powerful Quote!

“Cinderella” (2015 live action movie by Disney) provided with a great hidden message in biblical viewpoint. One quote strikes my heart when Cinderella spoke softly toward her stepmother: “I forgive you.” It was after all how stepmother has mistreated Cinderella horribly and even took advantage of Cinderella’s parents’ after tragic death of Cinderella’s mother and father on separate events.

“I forgive you”

It is truly powerful saying

Cinderella was giving another way of saying, “Let go, let God!”

Are you willing to forgive who has mistreated you like stepmother did for Cinderella!

I know it is a truly difficult thing to do! Trust me, forgiving others will heal your withering soul!

How can you image if Cinderella would do differently by telling Prince:

“My stepmother mistreated me and put me in the attic! What’s more, she dishonors my parents’ house! She deserved to be tossed out of house!”

Can you image this Prince do have authority to honor Cinderella’s desire to do whatever she wishes to see being done to her stepmother.

None of them happened, Cinderella was taught by her mother about the secret to joy of the life by simply being “courage and kind!”

Cinderella was determined not to dishonor her mother’s encouraging message. Forgiving others will bring the joy into life in opening new path to beautiful life.

Are you filled with bitterness because you has been mistreated by someone who deserved to be tormented?

Arranging vengeance or being stuck in anger will not get anywhere, it will do much worse for your life. It is like a cancer to your soul!

Is your anger because God made your life full of unfair?

God never wanted to happen to you! God wanted you and will be much more than happy to heal your withering soul. It is why God told Prophet Isaiah to pass messages to Israelites as God said:

Come, let us talk about these things. Though your sins are like scarlet, they can be as white as snow. Though your sins are deep red, they can be white like wool. ~Isaiah 1:18 (NCV)

God understood your anger, bitterness, fear and confusion and wanted to help and heals you!  It is why God gave us new life through Jesus Christ, who gave up his life in order to give us new life in the presence of God.

Are you willing to follow the good example of Cinderella?  After Cinderella’s message to her stepmother: “I forgive you” which truly floored stepmother.  Apparently to me stepmother finally understood Cinderella’s courage and kind to her.

So are you willing to forgive others?  It is something you need to talk to God, which will bring you freedom in Christ as part of your inner healing journey!

 

Do You Truly Understand What Forgive Is All About?

What do forgive means to you? Do you truly understand the definition of forgiving? Based on my countless conversation with friends, even Christians and I have heard them, saying in front of me:

•  I forgive him/her but…
• I forgive him/her, but I cannot forget the horror moment he/she did to me
• I forgive him/her, but I hope they got the punishment they deserved
• I forgive him/her, but look at them, they continue to enjoy the life to the fullest as I am suffering!
• I forgive him/her, but I wanted them to suffer for what they did to me!

Do any of those related to what you have told them? I believe that many of us have failed to define forgive!

I decided to check on the definition of forgiving on Merriam-Webster app on my iPhone. I was so stunned how we misinterpreted the true definition of forgive because common conversation by saying “I forgive him/her but…” do not make sense! Let me tell you why!

(Snapshot from Merriam-Webster App for iPhone)

Merriam-Webster is one of the most reliable dictionaries with very clear definition of a term.  There is no deny about this term, forgive! I would like to narrow the focus on forgive in biblical viewpoint.

Old Testament and New Testament frequently mentioned forgiveness as foundation of relationship with God.  It is called divine forgiveness, which restores the broken relationship with God, which brought the whole point to Jesus in New Testament.  Jesus came to restore the broken bridge between God and humankind.  The true definition of divine forgiveness in God’s eyes is pardon, let it go, get off the hook,  to set free, and release.

Refusal of forgiving others will create great roadblocks in your life. The best examples of roadblocks are: being the prison of hate and bitterness, anger at God, stuck in self-righteousness behavior, being scared of becoming doormat, and confusion of forgiveness with reconciliation.  All of these will bring no peace in your soul or will not live up to the true happiness of your life.

Keep in mind, forgiving others is not all about forgetting what others have done to you, but it helps release you from bitterness and anger and be free from living in the past where the hurt has been originated from.  God forgave us and will not use sins against us what we did in past because God forgives us and heals us which is part of maintaining true intimacy relationship with God.  So therefore when forgiving others, we need to stop using their sins against them what they did in the past.

It is no wonder Jesus used parable about the unforgiving debtor as he said:

“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who decided to collect the money his servants owed him. When the king began to collect his money, a servant who owed him several million dollars was brought to him. But the servant did not have enough money to pay, his master, the king. So the master ordered that everything the servant owned should be sold, even the servant’s wife and children. Then the money would be used to pay the king what the servant owed. “But the servant fell on his knees and begged, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything I owe.’ The master felt sorry for his servant and told him he did not have to pay it back. Then he let the servant go free. “Later, that same servant found another servant who owed him a few dollars. The servant grabbed him around the neck and said, ‘Pay me the money you owe me!’ “The other servant fell on his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything I owe.’ “But the first servant refused to be patient. He threw the other servant into prison until he could pay everything he owed. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were very sorry. So they went and told their master all that had happened. “Then the master called his servant in and said, ‘You evil servant! Because you begged me to forget what you owed, I told you that you did not have to pay anything. You should have showed mercy to that other servant, just as I showed mercy to you.’ The master was very angry and put the servant in prison to be punished until he could pay everything he owed. “This king did what my heavenly Father will do to you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Matthew 18:23-35 (NCV)

The danger about the refusal of forgiving others will actually hurt the healthy relationship with your loved one, family members, friends, and even coworkers where bitterness and anger will bring much displacement anger upon them.

Neil T. Anderson, the founder of Freedom in Christ Ministries and also authored numerous of Christ-centered living books quoted in one of his books called Victory Over The Darkness:

We must base our relationship with others on the same criteria on which God bases His relationship with us: love, acceptance and forgiveness.

In God’s eyes, forgiveness is not an option, having a relationship with God is part of the true love experience where it enhances us to forgive others who has hurt us in the past.

The biggest challenge for yourself and even myself, are we willing to forgive terrorists, pedophiles, rapists, and convicts?  It is a painful step in the recovery journey, but it will help us the complete freedom in Christ into a new image in God’s eyes.  It is because we are children of God.  Keep in mind, forgiving others is not express lane recovery, it could be short term or long term recovery journey.

Forgiving others is centric of the inner healing journey!

Being loyal to the New England Patriots is A Big Lesson For Me!

Despite being native of Southern California and grew up being fan of the Oakland Raiders and Los Angeles Rams (It was before Rams moved to Saint Louis).  I always kept eyes on New England Patriots since I was in my teen.  I recalled watching the Super Bowl XX when the New England Patriots played against the Chicago Bears on January 26, 1986.  Unfortunately, Bears crashed Patriots badly 46-10.  It was 14 years before the Belichick & Brady Duo Era.   I never thought I would end up living in the Boston area.

After relocation in Boston in 2003, my loyal toward New England Patriots began to be revealed, it does not make my parents very happy because my dad & mom is a diehard fan of New York Jets which was greatly known for long rivalry with Patriots however it doesn’t change their great love for me as their son.  As years passed by, I began to become a hardcore fan of the Patriots, at the same time I began to learn that Patriots was one of most hated NFL teams in America.  There are numerous people called my Patriots with, such as ANNOYING and INSULTING names such as:

Old England Suckriots

Suckriots

Cheatriots

Cheaters

New England Patsies

Patriotloser

One of those dear friends called my team, Old England Suckriots, it made me think something, should I name America such as Old America?  The origin of America actually started with thirteen colonies which New England was part of it.  So do it make sense to call Old England?  Calling New England is based on origin dated back to the arrival of the Pilgrims and Puritans from England.  It is because they are seeking freedom of worship in their belief in God so they call their new colony as New England.  So therefore I found Old England to be truly hilarious and ridiculous name due to sort of ignorance in America History.

Ironically, I grew up in Southern California, where the Lakers were my number one team and their number one rival is the Boston Celtics.  I never had any hatred feeling for the Celtics because of a beautiful friendship between Earvin “Magic” Johnson and Larry Bird. I never thought I would move to Boston when I reached my adulthood.  Living in Boston for the past 11 years was indeed one of most blessings I have received from God.  I began to understand and feel the true origin of Boston.  It is something West Coast or Midwest cannot beat the true origin of the history of the United States of America.

So people need to get America History 101 all over again before they can insult the New England. Or should they insult New England in, such as respectable different way?  It is something they need to think twice.  I admit I do make fun of other teams with whom I do not truly like or show less favorable toward but I has to remind myself not ever to cross the line where it would get to personally which can harm the friendship. Unfortunately, many Christians would cross the line where there are no love and grace involved.  I must admit that I was one of them in the past and I even went overboard, which cost my friendship with few dear people in Boston and it took long time to seek forgiven even our friendships was restored.

When New England Patriots were defeated by the New York Giants twice in Super Bowl (2007 and 2011), I was deeply humiliated and being mocked by how the New England Patriots has become a hopeless team in the NFL.  I am so thankful for wonderful and awesome parents despite they are native of New York City and would never anything to humiliate me after the Patriots’ loss to Giants twice in Super Bowl instead they taught me and encouraged me to continue my true loyalty toward Patriots.   It is where all of those Patriots haters would not do anything like my parents did to me.  My parents greatly respect my own identity where God truly made me to be who I am.

For several years, I began to struggle with my faith and loyalty because Patriots has been struggling to stay in the race but keep losing for a few seasons after 2011.  But I was determined to remain loyal toward to Patriots until the deflate incident has stirred up many controversies among Patriots and Patriots haters.  To make matters much worse and complicating, all of those Patriot haters and even some retired NFL players have accused New England Patriots of being dishonesty which started with the Spygate incident in 2007.

In light of deflate incident, I have to take some time to seek God in an attempt to understand what has been going on with all kinds of accusation brought against the Patriots.  At the quiet time, God led me to a story about Jesus forgives an adulterous woman:

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. But early in the morning he went back to the Temple, and all the people came to him, and he sat and taught them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery. They forced her to stand before the people. They said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught having sexual relations with a man who is not her husband. The law of Moses commands that we stone to death every woman who does this. What do you say we should do?” They were asking this to trick Jesus so that they could have some charge against him.

But Jesus bent over and started writing on the ground with his finger. When they continued to ask Jesus their question, he raised up and said, “Anyone here who has never sinned can throw the first stone at her.” Then Jesus bent over again and wrote on the ground.

Those who heard Jesus began to leave one by one, first the older men and then the others. Jesus was left there alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus raised up again and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one judged you guilty?”

She answered, “No one, sir.”

Then Jesus said, “I also don’t judge you guilty. You may go now, but don’t sin anymore.” ~ John 8:1-11 (NCV)

I attempted to dig in understanding about the true purpose of this passage on how it applies to NFL situation, and I came to terms, Patriots haters are like snobbish religious leaders who look down on those who did wrong (even they are falsely accused) because the snobbish religious leaders thought they got better and purer NFL team of their own than the New England Patriots. None of us are perfect with true pure heart because all of us are heartbroken in need of filling our withering souls.  One and only person who can mend our heart is Jesus HIMSELF!  The accusers who accuse individually based on their ugly flaws without showing love, grace and compassion actually have serious problems of their own where accusers are unable to look at their own flaws.  No wonder Jesus spoke it clearly:

“Don’t judge others, or you will be judged. You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you.

“Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? How can you say to your friend, ‘Let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye’? Look at yourself! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye. You hypocrite! First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend’s eye. ~ Matthew 7:1-5 (NCV)

I realized God is teaching me a great lesson and encourage me to remain my true loyalty toward New England even if they did wrong or not.  It is same conception with how my true friends chose to stay with me when I lost everything in 2012 after many years of leading a double life due to my addiction to alcoholism.  I went through a period of being insulted, humiliated, and being disrespected even in my inner healing journey in the presence of God.  I was reminded that God is a God of restoration.

After the miracle interception of Patriots’ #21  Malcolm Butler during 20 seconds left in the 4th quarter during the Super Bowl game between the Patriots and Seahawks has blown off everyone.  I considered one of best miracle plays I has seen since the NCAA football game when Alabama redshirt freshman kicker Adam Griffith missed a 57-yard yard field goal with one second remaining and Auburn cornerback Chris Davis returned it over 100 yards for a game-winning touchdown.  It brought the stunning and sweet victory for Auburn over Alabama on 11/30/13.  The interception has brought the sweet victory for Patriots over Seahawsk.

In time of hopelessness, there is always a hope.

I made very clear to those people who has been dear to me and even to my New England friends that New England Patriots will be forever be my true NFL team.

Being Unbroken Is A True Character Growth!

For years, I have watched numerous movies and read books on military stories which are based on the actual true event, I am always familiar with the storyline was played until I saw Unbroken, which was directed by well known actress, Angelina Jolie.  This film brought me more tears than any films I have seen in the past.  It is something differs from any true military stories because it’s a personal journey story where it gives us hope when dealing in period of living in darkness.

It was all about Louis “Louie” Zamperini, he used to be a rebellious boy before he became a big time runner for his local high school & University of Southern California and also he competed in 1936 U.S. Olympics in Berlin, Germany during the Third Reich, which was called Nazi Germany under the power of Adolf Hitler.   He enlisted in the United States Army Air Corps in September 1941, which was the beginning of his true-life journey into being an unbroken man.  He was badly tormented during being prisoner of the war (POW) by Imperial Japan Army during World War II especially under Mutsuhiro “Bird” Watanabe, an Imperial Japan Army sergeant who served at POW camps in Omori, Naoetsu.  He became a strong man after being frequently tormented at POW camps.  The story of Louis Zamperini is wholly based on three major points: forgiven, strength, and victory in the presence of God.

This film has great metaphor based on our spiritual life journey in the presence of God.  God used this film to teach me something, which increase my understanding about how Jesus Christ took my ugly life on the cross in order to give me new life.  Let me share the verse, which was told by prophet Isaiah which was already fulfilled through Jesus Christ:

“… He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” ~ Isaiah 53:5 (NLT)

Jesus was the perfectly unbroken man, even he was badly tormented and being whipped, but it did not stop him from giving in.  He continued being unbroken for us, so he can give us another chance for new life in the presence of God.  Jesus was denied by his close friend, Peter and been betrayed by Judas in exchange for money by snobbish religious leaders.  He was badly mocked & insult in the presence of the council of religious leaders.  So therefore none of them broken him into piece because he stood up and took the whole of our withered souls with him; it is because of His Father’s amazing everlasting love for his people.  It is because God has great passion is having personal intimacy relationship with EACH of his beloved child through Jesus.

The death and resurrection of Jesus, which truly completes the true unbroken journey.   So therefore it brought the major final victory over the evil one, Satan.  Jesus’ resurrection gave us another chance for new life according to Paul’s words as he addressed to the city of Corinth:

“… Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

I would like to provide with a bit of exegesis on 2 Corinthians 5:17: ‘A true Christians are brand-new people on the inside.  The Holy Spirit gives them new life, and they are not the same anymore. We are not reformed, rehabilitated, or reeducated – we are re-created (new creations), living  in vital union with Christ according to Colossians 2:6-7 ~ “… Now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”   Not only are believers changed from within, but a whole new order of creative energy began with Christ.  There is a new covenant, a new perspective, a new body, and a new church.’

New creation in Christ will bring us into new dimensions in new understanding about living for God, even it takes us into the darkness where we will be truly unbroken for God.  It is because we become the light in the darkness.  Jesus is the true light as John said in 1:5 (NLT):

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”

During one scene in this film, Unbroken where Louis Zamperini struggled and fought for his life as he tried to keep up in holding the large piece of tree trunk because he was told if he drop then he will be shot to death.  It is because the Imperial Japan Army sergeant, Mutsuhiro “Bird” Watanabe decided to do something very unthinkable in challenging Louis to see how far he are capable of holding a large piece of tree trunk it is because he was truly angered at Louis because he remain firm despite being beaten many times and was hoping Louis will be broken.  When Louis succeeds in holding the large piece of tree trunk to the high.  The sergeant Watanabe shouted at Louis, “do not look at me!” It is because his mission in getting Louis being broken was uttered in failure.

This scene was great example when we are being uttered in darkness as no matter how it gets deeper, there will be certain people in the darkness will find a way to destroy our character based on jealousy, obsession about our flaws in our past life, and bitterness.

It is no wonder Louis Zamperini made stunning quotes as he said:

“A minute of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.”

“You can’t let anything get you down.”

“Never give up. No matter what.”

“Where there’s still life, there’s still hope.”

“A minute of pain is worth a lifetime of glory.”

On November 29, 2012 is the day that changed my life forever when I opened the door of darkness where it took me I thought I will never go there.  During two years of living in darkness, I had to deal with many insults and false accusations as for all of those are in an attempt to break down my new character and identity in Christ was being built.

I does recalled one of those members of the Deaf Community of Massachusetts told one specific Deaf group (I cannot give details because I am protecting this information out of respect and everything was in God’s hands), “Mark my word, Michael will relapse into alcoholism and nothing good will come out of him.” This person said in late Summer of 2013.  When I found out, it broke my heart, but it does not stop me from going further in becoming a brand new man for God.  God is very good to me and continue to provide me with amazing strength to maintain my sobriety since I first became sober on 12/3/12.

I got to admit I has experienced of being tormented by someone similar how the Imperial Japan Army sergeant, Mutsuhiro “Bird” Watanabe did to Louis Zamperini in an attempt to get me down.  I got numerous of very cruel messages via texting, email and even was slammed in my face in an attempt to destroy my beautiful new life in Christ by bringing up all old flaws in my old characters and calling me as worthless and useless man.  All of those unkind words did break my heart, but it did not stop me, so I was determined at all cost to keep my faith in God, even I received numerous confirmation messages from God through those true friends who knew that God is working on transforming me into godly man which reflect the true Christlikeness love, grace, and compassion.

Are you willing to become unbroken for God? The true journey begins at the end of the comfort zone which will bring you into a new person in the eyes of God.

My Passion in the World of Photography

Looking at the different beautiful pictures has left me speechless many times because it helps me see how God’s creation is full of awestruck and masterpiece! Since the beginning of January 2014, I have revived my old flame in the world of photography where I had buried deep for many years.   At the same time, it gave me a new look at the world of photography when I was toying with my Canon EOS Rebel T3i, I was awestruck by a feature of DSLR (Digital Single-Lens Reflex) camera has to offer, it helped me get new fresh direction to start. My first time as revived photographer is at 2014 National Bowl Championship Football Game at Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California between Auburn Tigers vs. Florida State (FSU) University on January 6, 2014.

After Auburn’s loss to FSU, I have no idea where my photography adventure took me, God has different plans for me after the game. I grew up being a hiker, outdoor person, and camper so all of those past experiences has become great extra bonus to my photography adventure. I began to travel roam and do everything to capture whatever I have seen and it touched me on how God created everything on earth. I admit I have wasted many hundred dollars on gas in my car but all my deeds I am doing as a photographer are not wasted in God’s eyes.   Whenever I have planned to visit friends, any special events, or conference & meeting outside the state I would always take it as a big advantage for me as a photographer when being on a road trip. I frequently take detour turns to find many beautiful hidden spots where it has not always been known to public.  The Spike Gonzo Photography was born!

Spike Gonzo is my personal nickname, Spike was given to me by my family members because of my body size as I am slim and stand up like a long nail with wide shoulders.  Gonzo was a nickname given to me by my football members at York Suburban High School (it was before I transferred to the Model Secondary School for the Deaf), which derived from The Muppet Show character name The Great Gonzo.  It is because my character perfectly fits as The Great Gonzo when I am on the football team.  So in my adult year, I began to put my nicknames together so it became Spike Gonzo!

Even in period of living in heartbroken where there are non-stop of tears until my eyes got worn out, I learned to use photography adventure as part of my inner healing progress in the presence of God. It helped me look at beautiful places where God has created than to look past where I had many regrets in my life.

He has made me chew on gravel. He has rolled me in the dust. Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is. I cry out, “My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!” The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. ~ Lamentations 3:16-25 (New Living Translation)

I had read those verses above frequently, but until I became a photographer, it has given myself new understanding. I finally understand where God brought me into a new dimension as part of my inner healing journey. All things happened in the past where I regret many things due to my error pattern of living landed me in many unthinkable actions which I saw it as no chance for a new life but God proved me wrong and gave me new identity and new direction. I found myself as being photographer and creative writer.   Several people who been dearly to me keep telling me all of those pictures I took are signs of the beautiful healing journey which also brought the new hope to those withering souls even I was told by my longtime childhood friend’s mother said “you brought all pictures on Facebook where I never am able to see it where there are much hideous in my eyes and you opened the treasure of God’s creation!” Another comments from people said all those pictures help them relive their old and good memories where they went there before in their early year.

This quote beautifully described my gift as being photographer from God.  I realized all months of traveling around has helped me re-discover a new identity in myself where it connects me to new people and even some people from the past has returned in my life.   One close friends of mine said to me, “you are able to break the barrier where you were stuck in a cycle of alcoholism and troubled life, and you travel anywhere you are able to capture the beautiful pictures and reveal the God’s masterpiece.” I realized that all my photography adventure was God’s gift to me in true intention to bring all the beautiful and masterpiece creation of God’s to those people’s eyes where they are frequently engaged in their life matter filled with worrywart, negative and distress.  Irving Penn, late American photographer known for his work in fashion, portrait and still life made beautiful and impact quote as it perfectly described the God’s given gift to me as photographer as quote said:

A good photograph is one that communicates a fact, touches the heart, and leaves the viewer a changed person for having seen it.

More I immersed myself in the world of photography, I was urged by people to sell my pictures where it can be crafted into being framed or canvas, I kindly took their suggestion.  However, I do not want to rush myself and jump into the pool of competing with other Deaf photographers.  It is because I wanted to continue to practice and utilize my talent as a photographer which require time.  I learned one big lesson about being photographer, never compare yourself with another photographer in thinking you are better or less good than another photographer.  I learned that each photographer has their own unique gift of how they handles with their picture where it given us the grasp of how the picture was taken beautifully.

People keep asking me about how I get all information and where the best spot to take pictures, I would credit to Road Trippers at http://www.roadtrippers.com, Roadside America at http://www.roadsideamerica.com.  Also, there are three helpful traveling books which greatly contributed to my traveling planing are: Your Guide to the National Parks: The Complete Guide to all 58 National Parks, National Geographic Guide to Scenic Highways & Byways – The 300 BEST Drives in the United States, and 1,000 Places to See in the United States and Canada Before You Die, updated edition.

If you are interested in seeing my photography adventure go to http://www.spikegonzophotography.com and also if you are interested in purchasing picture to be crafted to be framed or into canvas feel free to go to my Pixoto page at: http://www.pixoto.com/spike.mgonzalez and you can click which picture your likes and make a purchase then they will customize according to your desire at different size.  Also, if you want to talk about my photography work by providing with suggestion, ideas, or feedback feel free to contact me at SpikeGonzoPhotography@gmail.com.

Have a blessing Thanksgiving week!

We All Are Imperfect, End of Discussion Period!

The announcement of Mark Driscoll’s resignation from Mars Hill Church has spread out across the nation of the United States of America.  His resignation is good news!

Good news, how come?

(For the full story on Mark Driscoll’s resignation go to: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/slices/mark-driscoll-resigns-mars-hill)

Before I dive into giving my own point.  I truly endorsed what Mark Driscoll said in his own statement:

I readily acknowledge I am an imperfect messenger of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are many things I have confessed and repented of, privately and publicly, as you are well aware. Specifically, I have confessed to past pride, anger and a domineering spirit.

I do not want to be the source of anything that might detract from our church’s mission to lead people to a personal and growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

I does feel much related to his struggling  of his inner soul where he sensed there are great needs of inner healing which is one of the cores in the spiritual journey of God.  There are numerous charges being brought against him.   His situation brought me kind of flashback to 11/29/12 where the day darkness has descended on me.   I lost everything in my life: marriage, my fruitful ministry within Deaf ministry in one small community church, my good paying salary career job, my car, my apartment and my precious Shetland Sheepdog Liberty.

My twelve years of battling with deadly disease which is my addiction to alcoholism, including doing many unthinkable things in my life!  I led a double life and I was living in dark secret.  In reality, I was living in untreated pains where it was truly unbearable to me.  It is where my turning point in my life truly began on 11/29/12 which brought me blessing in the eyes of God which brought me into deep of my hole of my soul.

It is the true beginning of my inner healing!  It is no wonder Jesus emphasized as he said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.~Matthew 5:3 (ESV)

The poor in spirit are those who recognize they are in need of God’s help, it emphasizes about those who confess their spiritual bankruptcy.

One of most tragic things I have witnessed within churches, the congregation like to judge others hassle even their own pastor based on their wrongdoing.  I do understand clearly how the wrongdoing has hurt their heart and breach the trustworthy.  There are times of anger, sadness, bitterness and shame, but unfortunately some of them will not move on and learn to let it go and let God.  Forgiveness is one of the most importance parts of inner healing progress!

Mark Driscoll confessed publicly and he acknowledged that he is imperfect servant for God and he senses, he need to renovate his spiritual growth in the presence of God.

If I see Mark Driscoll in person, I would give him brotherly hugs and would tell him:

“I feel you and I was there before and you have my full support.”

I do strongly believe that Mark Driscoll’s resignation will breath him new life in the presence of God will brings him with new dreams and visions like I did!

One thing Mark and I have much in common, we are victim of character violence.  When I went into dark period, people out there have been spreading wild rumors and many false stories about me.  It is true intention to make me look much worse, which is above from my originated story of what I did wrong in my life.  One biggest advantage is I am able to see who is true and false friends are.  I got to say it LOUD, sorry folk!  I forgave those who did damage to my reputation, I saw how God continues to bless me because I seek God with my whole heart.

If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face an turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. ~2 Chronicles 7:14 (ESV)

I wanted to make it very clear, I took responsibility for what I did in the past, I am thankful God forgave me and has been slowly restoring me into being godly man.

Let me ask you, what would you do as being a true friend to those who did wrong things?

If you spread rumors, gossip and distorted theories to others and how would God feel when He sees you said things are completely not true.

I am kindly asking you to quit committing character violence so instead pray and provide with godly support.  It is okay to be upset, angry, and disappointed, but do not let it take over your soul.  The best medication is simple: Let it go, Let God!

God be with you!

Are You Victim of Dexter Morgan Persona?

“Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply you have to be reminded it’s even there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are altogether… I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I‘m neither man nor beast. I‘m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo.” ~ Dexter Morgan (Season One, episode # four)

Dexter is a series chronicling the life of a serial killer prowling the streets of Miami is bound to leave viewers with many quotable moments. Dexter, a blood spatter analyst for Miami metro often shares his dark thoughts with viewers, allowing fans of the show to delve deeper into the mind of the meticulous serial killer played by Michael C. Hall. Because Dexter only chooses to kill other psychopaths, he has good characteristics as well as the obvious negative characteristic of being a psychopath himself. Michael C. Hall delivers each line so brilliantly that it is easy to forget that he is only playing a character.

Dexter is one of my favorite TV series because it has some hidden theological viewpoint on how it applies to our life.   I have seen many people who have been victims of Dexter Morgan persona even ME too! Maybe you said to yourself, “how come!”

My simple question, do you have a secret or dark side in your life that you never wanted anyone to find out?

When I first saw the first season of Dexter, it arouses my interest to continue to watch it the whole way until the final season (eighth). This character, Dexter Morgan truly blew me away. You know why? It is simple answer is we are secretly leading a double life where your immediate family members, your spouse, and your close friends don’t even truly know.

I let alcoholism define my identity and turn me into monster where I don’t see it as a monster. I used alcoholism to justify my own pain. I used different kinds of schemes in an attempt to find a way to get money to get all hard liquor to make matters worse; I stole many hundred dollars so I can get more hard liquor! I confessed I was once very devious minded person. Many people who have been dear to me said they cannot image I was alcoholic addicts because I was busy fooling them with my infectious smile!   Even at worse, I was very hypocrite Christian, I led Bible study, preached several sermons, and also been active in different ministry activities.

I tried hard and harder to hide my addiction to alcoholism and continue wearing fake mask in showing off how good Christian I am! To make matters much worse, I secretly drowned myself in booze when I was working as a social worker and I used booze to justify my overstress at work. Little I did realize, it is slowly destroying my work performance and even my work relationship with co-workers and clients too.

In reality, I am truly a MONSTER where my soul is very ugly and filled with many unspoken pains, I chose to become victims of Dexter Morgan persona.  Little I did realize that my action has hurt many people who I truly loved.

 

The verses flooded in my thought as perfectly fits about hypocrisy which apply of being victim of Dexter Morgan persona:

“I hate all your show and pretense-the hypocrisy of your religious festival and solemn assemblies. I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won’t notice all your choice peace offerings. Away with your noisy hymns of praise! I will not listen to the music of your harps. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteously living.” ~ Amos 5:21-24 (NLT)

God spoke to His people (Isarelites) through the prophet Amos because God knew their heart is darkened and been into something else to ease off their pain in their own souls than to truly seek God.  Israelites perform the religion ceremony without any true commitment to God because their heart is not after God!

Alcoholism turned me into a different person else than actually who I am. I went outside of God’s unique design of identity, of who I am! See how it was paralleled with the character of Dexter Morgan, he used different kinds of schemes to cover up the track which points to himself as secret serial killer. Little by little, his secret life as serial killer was unraveled (I prefer not spoil the storyline what was told in season one to eight if you want to check out yourself). Also, Dexter wasn’t being completely honest when he performed his duty as a blood spatter analyst for Miami metro.

So do you have your own dark side where nobody knew? Have you been running from something for a long time where you are at this point, you are truly lost a far from being yourself?

The truth is… For the past nineteen years, I have been running a far from who I am.  I finally learned the truth as God just wanted me to be myself and seek God with the whole of my heart as what the prophet Micah said:

“O people, the Lord has told you what is good and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” ~Micah 6:8 (NLT)

Nobody Wanted To Go Inside the Darkest Valley.

 

For years, I have been consumed in the video gaming world until I decided to enter into semi-retirement from being video gamer for 35 years in order to pursue new interests in my life journey in the presence of God.  However, all years of being video gamer which provided me with rich knowledge about storyline in each video game series such as Ninja Gaiden, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Dead Space, & others which has hidden theological view.  All of those storylines have hidden meanings on how it applies to our life.

I am always fascinated by the Ryu Hayabusa (see picture above), the protagonist of the Ninja Gaiden series.  He was considered the lone wolf whom is in the quest for the justice aftermath of tragedy brought on his family & clan, which brought him inside the darkest valley where it gave him a new life as a true warrior of his own clan.  Based on interesting research as I discovered more information about character, Ryu Hayabusa which was originated according to the game canon:

Ryu (lit. “Dragon”) Hayabusa (“falcon”) is a ninja and the leader of the Hayabusa Clan (隼一族Hayabusa-Ichizoku). The clan is said to have spiritual, physical and magical ties to ancient dragons. He is arguably the most popular ninja character to ever be featured in video games.

So whoever goes inside the darkest valley will sense much parallel to Ryu Hayabusa’s journey into being true warrior.

Nobody ever wanted to go into the darkest valley of his or her life! Little we did realize that inside the darkest valley have great valuable tools where we truly missed during our normal journey. For years I was truly scared to go in there because I might lose something & someone very important to me.

Let it go, let God…

This quote keeping echoing in my head many times until my head truly gets hurt where I saw how I was beginning at the entrance of darkest valley. What is in there? I am truly clueless about what is inside the darkest valley.

My life is full of dilemmas and what if…

One Saturday morning, which was filled with fog and crispy as I drove down the road at Talladega National Forest in Alabama as I am on the way to Alabama School for the Deaf for Football game.

 

During driving and I saw there is a beautiful overlook scenic view so I decided to park my car in middle of Talladega National Forest.  I pulled out my lawn chair out of my car trunk (I always left the lawn chair in there all the time because it can be useful on wherever I am going! ) As I sat in the presence of beautiful green mountain and I was led to mediation on Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd;

I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk

through the darkest valley,[a]

I will not be afraid,

for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me

in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord

forever.

This chapter impacted me made me realized prior to the entrance of the darkest valley of my life, I enjoyed all years of blessings from God was due to God’s grace and compassion.   My deadly battle with alcoholism for 12 years has put me into the darkest valley of my life where I lost everything what has been blessed in my life by God.  It is because of my adultery act with alcoholism.  No wonder King Solomon said in the book of Proverbs:

So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved. Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor. In the end you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body. You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.” ~Proverbs 5:7-14 (NLT)

So after losing everything, I went inside the darkest valley of my life where I began to make an amazing discovery is having a new identity in Christ.   However, being in the darkest valley is not always the joyful, I have to deal with the loss of some people who has been dear to me at the same time I am welcoming new people in my life has become my new true friends.  Even I had dealt with many failures, poor judgement & decisions and even plenty of unrealistic fears. All of those struggles caused me to have some period of living in doubts in God and even a sense of being disconnected from God too.  However the journey inside the darkest valley has helped me to question God about everything.  The biggest advantage of being inside the darkest valley of life, it deepens my intimacy relationship with God, which blossomed God’s unconditional love and amazing kindness in my heart.  My heart was filled with fruit of the spirit from God, which touched the wounding and withering souls out there.

During my journey inside the darkest valley of my life, I am learning to become a true warrior for God by simply letting go of everything and let God mold my heart, which brought me into new destination of my life and also brought me to where I thought I would never go there.  Psalm 23 concludes with blessings after walking inside the darkest valley of the life.

Living in period of trials will lead us to seek God more and more as it helps us become humble before God and realized we are nothing without God.  So, trust me sometime in your life journey in presence you have to let things go and let God handle will bring much blessing in your life.  I never forget one of those close friends of mine coined me as “Deaf Job” it is referred from the Book of Job in Holy Bible.  There are too many assumptions that being inside the darkest valley will bring miserable in your life, it is not that case, but if you rely on God fully then you will be truly amazed what you are seeing in the darkest valley.

Tell you the truth, I was truly lost for the past 19 years of my life journey with God until I finally discovered the true joy of my life as I went inside the darkest valley of my life where it breathed a new identity which is in Christ.  It brought me increase of compassion, love, and kindness toward others.

Let it go Let God is best medicated for your soul!

Are you willing to go inside darkest valley to discover who you are and let God shape your heart?

Do you want to be a true warrior like Ryu Hayabusa?

Ryu walked into no man’s land as everything is dark as he searched for truth and justice, it brought him to face his own greatest enemies who are out to destroy him.  So don’t let anything get you down inside darkest valley.  At the end of darkest valley, everything will be revealed as who is your true people and being always with you all ways!  One biggest lesson I learned in the dark valley is to forgive others for what they don’t know what they are doing.  Forgiveness brings joy and blessing in your life.

Trust me, I was there…

God loves you more than you can image of and you are truly unique in God’s eyes.

Be Yourself!

There are numerous different flowers in world and not one of them are the same. They each give off a different scent, but all of them are truly beautiful! I always found sunflowers to be beautiful and adorable. I also think the many different colored roses are truly fascinating. In fact, there are a total of 52 species of sunflowers and over 100 species of roses out there, image that!

Each flower has its own color, petal, and unique plant stem shape. No one flower is the same and each flower is categorized by specific species. Isn’t that amazing?   The more I become involved in my photography adventure, the more new discoveries I make. Photography gives me a new great appreciation for God’s beautiful masterpiece.

So why am I talking about flowers? In my previous article, Your Life Is Like A Garden I talked about the importance of keeping your garden well tended and that will keep it beautiful. A garden is a great example of how your life should be.

Now let’s talk about your garden. Your garden represents who you are! God created each of you to be so unique so none of us have the same identity. However one thing we do all share, the one thing we all have in common is, we are one in Christ!

Let me share a verse from the apostle Paul discussing the body of Christ:

A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have. ~ 1 Corinthians 12:7-11 (NLT)

This verse is a perfect example of the recovery process. In recovery, we begin to discover something new in our life, our amazing talents. We are able to give new breath to these talents which can lead us on a new path in life.

But what can our talents contribute to others?

As for myself, a motivated writer, I wanted to write about the importance of being free in Christ. Yet, I would like to emphasize that this all starts with a journey of inner healing.

I am also avid photographer. I choose to be a witness for God by showing people God’s beautiful creation. I was recently approached by some people who deeply appreciated my photography work. They even said they envied my talent as photographer.

So I thought, “What can I do for them? So I simply offered them my encouragement and advice in seeking their own true talent where they can contribute to others for their living benefit!

So I am just a flower in beautiful garden, surrounded by other beautiful flowers. This garden is my true inner circle of my family and close friends.   I know where to go in this garden to access my support system. And when I leave my garden and I go to another destination, I look for where I can I contribute my experiences, wisdom and knowledge to other people’s garden. I look to help tend others gardens even if I don’t belong to this garden.

From time to time, I was always like to remind my close friends what they have all told me before;“be yourself!”

I can see my talents blossoming as I receive more encouragement and advice. This motivates me, because I feel since people believe in me, I should believe in myself.

It is no wonder apostle Paul emphasized true identity in his words He said:

For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. ~ Galatians 6:3 (ESV)

How true! We need to stop trying to copy or envy someone when they are expressing their talent. We need to remember it takes time to develop and understand our own identity. Our gifts will be revealed in God’s time.

 

Your Life Is Like A Garden!

“I hates when weeds keep coming back again and again in my beautiful garden!” How many times did you hear that quote? I bet many times. Weed is considered as “eyesore” to gardener who works tirelessly to keep the garden beautifully.   So what does it have to do with our life journey in presence of God?

The garden itself represents your own life! What do weed fits in your life? In Merriam-Webster, I was so appalled to see the true define word; weed as it how perfectly fits in garden itself represents your own life:

“A plant that is not valued where it is growing and it is usually of vigorous growth; especially: one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants.”

Did you see it said, “…choke out more desirable plants?” So, who are those weeds in your life? It refers to people who have true intention to pull you down with negative & toxic talk where it will do more damage to your life journey! So, what do you do about it? WEED them out of your garden; it is truly simple thing to do. Even what’s more shocking are some of your friends assumed to be your true friends could be like poisonous snake to your soul too.

It is no wonder Jesus spoke about himself being the true vine as mentioned in John 15:1-5:

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”

Jesus spoke about how His Word purifies our withered soul where we begin to see how the weeds have been hindering our progress in presence of God. So, we need to prune our life to where we can be made holiness in presence of God. We cannot allow weeds to overgrown in our own garden because it will choke us. If we allow them to choke our growth then we are unable to see the beautiful things in our life. It will enhance our life adventure.

Now what do garden itself look like? It is filled with different kinds of beautiful flowers such as roses, sunflowers, orchids, marigold, lotus, hibiscus, magnolia, tulips, zinnia, cosmos, pansy, celosia, and sweet pea? There are many more flowers out there. All of them are so beautiful that gives us great scent.   So, who are those flowers? What does it represents? It represents your immediate family, close & true friends in your life where they will truly enhance your soul into becoming better life. Each flower has different name, colors and scents; therefore, whoever is important in your life will contribute their unique support, perspectives and advices in your life.   God created inner circle for your life where you are to keep your garden well trimmed and pruned to be free from any annoying of weeds in your life by keeping yourself tuned up in the presence of God.

Christ is in your heart as He is the true vine. God is the gardener who cares for you and remind you to keep garden beautiful. So keep anything been unproductive to your life out of garden.